Being Beta

Exercises in the higher banter with One of 26. Elsewhere called 'poet of adland'. By a whipple-squeezer. Find out why being beta is the new alpha: betarish at googlemail dot com

Monday, August 07, 2017

Listorama: Facebook status updates vol 47

BetaRish is...

What, no board games?

Hell OS update my old friend

The process is the process is the dear lord we’re doing this voting thing again?

Call it come back

Words – trickier blighters than you think

What if the universe is made of elastic?

Let it go, get it back

is strong and stable like an IKEA table

Hurry up Mercury

is efficient in his inefficiency

Trickster holds the centre

is already ducking the flak

Quick, call The One Show! The body politic ails again

is a Lord of Light

Where did Spring go?

There were some ideas here, once

is the Google Doc of your dreams

Oh travel, thy sting is much


Not that it means much, but I am thinking of dancing as rebellion, hedonism as a way of grief, and how we must nurse our candles. We may flicker but we shall not go out. Because there will be joy again, one day. And we will dance together

Is it summer? Can we call it?

Oh, you want something that isn’t on the brief by yesterday?

has been USB shanghai’d

Imagine if the meme was multiplication

Has everyone bunked off?

When pride is too wide to fit the room

And the realm unravels a little more

The need for Squalorship

Plot, plan, plot, plan

à hair-triggers

Sometimes, the surface is all that matters

The itchy nervousness of not having work email on the phone

is in search of utopia again

The edgy nervousness of everyone else is putting me on edge

Sharp sharp! The week the week!

Bubbles are power

The ideas, the desire… now just waiting for the time to show up

The network is working in nets

it’s blue in London; not a French blue, but it’ll do

My kingdom for a hamburger

The storm doesn’t clear the sky

Zero sum art doesn’t add up

is minimal, viable

Heavy legs

Ti amo

is higgling and bargaining

Do you remember?

Whither my lists?


Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Listorama: Facebook status updates vol 46

BetaRish is...

I’m here; just sleeping after my walk in to the office

Franchise me

January spawns a monster

thinks he’s done pushing water uphill

The phrase has gone

is lacking a hat today

needs to wield the pen again

…nope, nothing to go here…

The process is the process

Ah the days when caffeine won’t remotely be enough

is genuinely genuine

The edge is sharp

Pen into battle again

is releasing balloons

Fevers are rubbish

Meeting and plotting with Nathalie Teitler is the best tonic when you’ve been ill

Well, the walk to the office from the station was a bit tiring

Happy Day of Ventricle Martyrs!

The sleep is strong with this one

The phrase will come


is failing to be elegant

Shall we begin?

And then the ghosts left

is waiting for the contacts and the privilege

is wondering whether he has the right envelope

Squid goals: tentacles of fun

WARNING: phrase bank empty

Start > run > validation

Why aren’t odd numbers uneven numbers?

To battle to save an idea, again

Frag / ments

Circumstances have moved on

is about to get thrown under the bus again

I was reading ‘Wittgenstein’s Mistress’ on a silent staircase, and the world started roaring in my ears

If no one can find you, no one can miss you

The weather withers whatever

Back at the desk with a bump

reboot, rewrite

Acquis no more

is on frequent seas only I can hear

is prepping for one of those weeks

has outrage to spare, if you have a topic to froth about

would like it to be a grasshopper day

is making no grand claims

is waiting for the tiler (not a euphemism)

needs to be himself

You conference, I call


Friday, January 06, 2017

Listorama: Facebook status updates vol 45

BetaRish is...

C’mon, did you put liberalism behind the sofa? Can’t find it anywhere

Let slip the kittens of poetry!

is debunked

And then time, it must have it’s tithe

This morning a flat white saved my life

is querulous

has been walking in the rain just to get wet on purpose

And then the start came again

will be waiting with a trident and a pint of prawns

Pop went my back; oh how my heart sank

And time has slipped its leash again

Are we talking about the battle of Agincourt?

The nation demands I make a gesture at this time

is a fabulous confabulist

is all the Xs, all the Os

is contemplatin’

And in your dreams did you see this?

The road to A50 just got more twisty

What’s huge if true? An elephant lie detector

Combat the wombat

is liberal with liberality

Look look look Like like like

is rolling, rocking, almost falling over

is more sneeze than person

Caffeine beating sleep; in other news crash predicted around 2pm

To the wedding!

is false space

is winning at spatio-temporal sports

and there will be dancing in the light

Thank you all for the birthday wishes – you’ve all been most kind

is transformative like a cape

Once again, the year reaches its end with its foot on the accelerator

I am the gold of the black sun

Into the valley of tissue meetings I go

dot dash dot dash

My brain would like you to know it is functioning on all of the caffeine and none of the sleep

is level 5 on the iPhone storage management game

Oh what a Monday-ish Monday

is seeking the end of the mountain

I appear to have lost the ability to comb my hair

One more deadline

Merry Christmas ya filthy animals

has cooked eggs royale and carbonara today, and now will be asleep if you need him

I have a cat on my lap, a glass of Nyetimber and a book of poetry. 2016 ends well indeed. Happy New Year y’all

Someone left the office air con on ‘chill’ over the holidays

January – meh made real


Friday, October 07, 2016

National Poetry Day 2016: BBC Local Poets

Yesterday was the second busiest day of the year for poets (the first is, of course, Valentine's Day). I played my own small part, by being a wee cog in the wonderful Local Poets project that the BBC organised for the day. 40 poets matched to their respect BBC local radio station gave voice to an object that represented the area.

You can hear my tribute to London's Underground map, and I was on BBC Radio London in the evening talking about it (from 2h 51m).

I also popped up on BBC Asian Network to read another poem (from 2h 46m).

And you can hear all the other local poems here.

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Tuesday, October 04, 2016

Listorama: Facebook status updates vol 44

BetaRish is...

Day 4 of the Great National Unravelling, and that smell in the air is that of singed fur as the Elite Reverse Ferret begins!

Oh cold lonely rock in the sea

On for plans

Today’s narrative features resignation as commonplace jeopardy

woke up with an overwhelming desire to catalogue everything

Forms and plans, plans and forms

has run out of runes to read and sooths to say

A faff is as good as a rest

Pokemon never started

would like to be apricating

shook a tailfeather, and it fell off

Sun transit gloria

has the summer cold blues

Too much looking, not enough seeing

is doing the deck shoe squelch

is on the infinite list

is off to be a visionary again

Oh summer where art thou?

is working on the Master Plan, Part Deux

is putting donks on it

I am falling over myself to be balanced

In The Time of Harmony: The Golden Age Is Not In The Past, It Is In The Future

recommends chicken wings for pudding

is forever for ever

is all the glorious trivialities

is dipping for victory

is all the stories that will ever be told

is casting pines before swirls

Hello desk, my old friend

is squeezing the last pips of summer

The glance is all

ooh, proper back to school weather

supposes one has to

The beat goes on, elsewhere

is a tendency

is late, is early, is intense

And the bold, what do they do next?

tiltin’ wiltin’

Data data everywhere and far too much to think

is an unwilling victim of the supposed mercy of systems

is an engine of progress, wheezing slightly on the hard shoulder

is the story next to the story

is a member of The Obvious Club

If the centre cannot hold, why is my stomach growing?

Wanted – only good words today

is an outrider

is on a smackdown crackdown

is having a dalliance with tiredness